Tips for Great SexHow do you ensure you have a great sex life? What great sex tips can lift you sexual performance and help you reconnect with new intimacy?
Dr Ruth Westheimer (America’s favourite TV sex doctor) is in no doubt what comes first if you want to have a great sex life. In Dr Ruth’s Top 10 Secrets for Great Sex the No 1 “secret” is:
Make Great Sex a PrioritySex deserves a special place in your life, and should not be crowded out by all the other activities fighting for attention.
And that means you should not rely on it happening spontaneously. If you are not getting regular sex without scheduling it, then you must schedule both the time and circumstances for sex. And if finding time and privacy to have sex is a problem at home, you need to make changes so your sex life is nurtured.
Then when you’ve scheduled sex, plan for it… anticipate the pleasure you will receive, and make a point of showing you care about your partner as often and in as many ways as possible.
Great Sex Includes RomanceIf great sex is going to be a priority then a man must accept the requirements of romance.
Romance is essential for most women to remain interested in sex – and the first secret of adding romance to a relationship is understanding what your partner likes and to make sure you include that is part of your sexual repertoire.
Other ways to increase romance include:
- Care about your appearance – the better you dress the more romantic the atmosphere
- Demonstrate affection through body language – holding hands, hugging, touching
- Take time away from home doing fresh, fun things
- Develop private rituals which are special to both of you – a favourite restaurant, a monthly movie, a weekend at a favourite resort...
Great sex continues to grow in intimacy and pleasure as you get to know one another better. To build this intimacy, you need to understand your own sexual needs and those of your partner – and you need to banish sexual myths from the bedroom.
Great Sex is Grounded in Reality
Many women cannot orgasm just from intercourse – no matter what size a man’s penis is. Understand this – and don’t blame a failure to orgasm on penis size. Learn to integrate loving masturbation into your love making technique in a way which does not make the woman feel she is a failure, and the sex is likely to be much more fulfilling for both of you.
Don’t compare yourself to the fantasy sex presented in porn and in Hollywood movies. Just work out what you and your partner need and try and ensure it happens.
Great Sex is Open To Change
Be open to new ideas and start by changing something easyDr Ruth suggests you need to be open in talking about your sex life, and what’s working and what isn’t. But it’s often best if you start by changing something easy. Listen carefully – and read between the lines.
If your partner says something like “it would be nice if you spent more time on foreplay” that might mean she’s having difficulty having orgasms. She may find it hard to say more, so her partner could simply spend more time on foreplay and see what happens, and ask if she’s had enough foreplay before beginning intercourse.
Other great sex tips on things to consider changing:
- Vary the time and places you have sex to keep boredom at bay
- After play is an important as foreplay – remain consciously together after orgasm
- Slow down the pace when you have sex to better enjoy the subtler pleasures
- Tell your partner how you are feeling by either using actual words or just making noises
- Let your partner know how to give you the most pleasure
Variety is important in creating a great sex life, and new positions stimulate your brain and your heart.
Great Sex Adapts to New Positions
Don’t rely only on the missionary position (man on top – the most common sex position ) to provide a woman with sexual satisfaction, because a woman’s orgasm relies on stimulation of the clitoris.
Dr Ruth says most women cannot get an orgasm from the missionary position, although men may like it because they feel in control. The sensation of the penis going in and out of a woman’s vagina is not arousing enough because the penis doesn’t come into direct contact with the clitoris.
The advantage of other sexual positions – like female superior (woman on top) butterfly or side to side - is that they allow the man to use his hands to stimulate his partner’s clitoris and breasts while they are engaged in intercourse.